i've never been a fan of those books... but i liked the idea of it tonight as i was talking with a friend about the night... and i said, "it was like chicken noodle soup for my soul!!!"
so here's what happened...
yesterday i was definitely hitting depression... i mean, it was not good at all... so i got a few phone calls, all of which made me cry... and i decided i needed to come home... what's strange is that my mom's house has never really been my refuge before... i usually would go to visit friends or go somewhere else to get away... but for the first time, i found comfort in knowing i could just come home... and i was also looking forward to hanging out with the perry's for a little while... and just being around people... that's always good for me...
so tonight, i decided to go to student matrix at fbc... i was so excited to see chris and bekah and andrea... and a bunch of other people that i don't really know or know all that well... but it was good... the service was great... therapeutic, but not the best part of my night...
we went to eat and i started talking to the girls at my end of the table... and i was interviewing them... and it was fun... we were laughing and having a good time, and then i ended up going to the other end of the table where i resumed the interview game and got into a really long discussion with a guy i'd never met before...
all good... so then, afterwards, i wanted to go get coffee - so i suggested it to kathryn and lauren - and off we went... and it was so much fun... i forgot how good it feels to sit and talk over a cup of coffee about nothing and everything all at the same time... missions and boys and coffee and school and family and just stuff... my cup runneth over...
and i know that's what ministry is... and i miss that aspect of it... so i'm sure it won't be long before i'm looking for a place where i can plug in and do ministry like that... to invest in the lives of students by being real and authentic and available and honest... to share life and walk alongside them... i just hope i can find it... seriously - in talking with people from last night to tonight, they could tell something had changed...
i have actually been seeking God more than i had been... the hard part for me is not the location but not having friends besides my roommates... because i'm a people person... and i know that God is up to something, i was just having a moo moo day, as my friend sarah says... and i'm allowed to have them... God is bigger than my bad days... and He always meets me where i am... like today, for example... the other hard part is not having a job... i know it's only been a couple of weeks, but i wasn't expecting it to take this long to find a job... and i wasn't anticipating the long amounts of alone time...
enough rambling... my only fear is monday - going back to the lack of a job and the alone time all over again... but i guess i don't have to worry about that for a while...
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